Connect with Your Roomie.

Once your housing assignment is released, you will soon find also out who your room-mate(s) is/are from the same Housing portal, depending on whether you are in a double/triple/quad etc. On the portal, you will be given just the name(s) and their Purdue email(s).

For the sake of simplicity, I will be addressing two people sharing a double. But the same principles will apply even if you are in a larger group sharing a room too.

You should get in touch asap. You may think you should give it longer- take some time, telling yourself its may be their summer holidays and that maybe you should wait for them to get in touch. Don’t procrastinate. The longer you leave it, the more awkward it becomes to break the ice. Also, there are plenty of things to be discussed before you arrive on campus, and a lot of your buying and dorm layout decisions depends on getting a mutually agreed plan together asap.

So shoot of a friendly email! Introduce yourself, and where you are from. If you are an international student, chances are you may have been roomed with an American room-mate, and they would be curious to find out more about you too. In the email, you can give a brief background of who you are, and what you are going to major in at Purdue. Maybe even include your pic. The key thing is to ask for a social app that you can both connect on. It could be Snapchat, Discord or WhatsApp. Or set up a Zoom or Face-time call to get to know each other. As long as its not email, which is slow and awkward to connect over, it will work. And don’t forget to exchange phone numbers!

As you get to know each other, it would also be good to exchange your parents numbers and get them in touch. We, for instance, had a small WhatsApp Group of the 4 parents and the 2 kids. It wasn’t very active, but its always nice knowing that in case your parents can’t get in touch with you, they can ask your whereabouts to the roomie. Parents have to use this judiciously though, as too many messages or false alarms might backfire.

Once you are in touch, you need to stay in touch. How often will depend on you two, but remember- you are going to spend the next year with that person in the same room, so the earlier you get comfortable with each other, the smoother it is going to be.

Don’t just talk about hobbies and general things over your chats though. Although these are necessary to establish common ground, you should get into discussing the nitty-gritty below!

Some of the common things that you need to agree on are:

1. Shall we want a Kettle?
2. How about a shared TV? Is he a gamer? or are you?
3. What about a Fridge/Microwave? Will you rent these or buy these?
4. Will you be lofting your bed? (see separate post)?
5. Do both of you want a Futon? (if at least one bed lofted )
6. Are you going to get a Rug? or carpet the place cheaply with carpet remnants (see my tip in my Things to Pack & Buy! post)
7. Who will bring what? Who will buy what? How will you share the costs? Who will take the item at the end of the year?
   

1. Share your class schedules and when you will not be in the dorm room. This way your room-mate should know when to bring over any significant other. Also gives them quiet me-time.
2. What temperature do you both like to sleep at? Do they snore or breathe loudly? Sleep will be the biggest chunk of time you spend together and you both need to be comfortable.
3. Do they have any odd habits?
4. Do you need quiet/study hours?
5. If you are getting a Fridge- How is the space divided? When can old food be tossed (visible mould, hasn’t moved for 2 weeks, etc)
6. If sharing a TV, what are the rules? Set gaming times if both of you game regularly. Or consider getting two TVs if you both of you are avid gamers.
7. Do both of you have headphones? If not, you should both get noise cancelling headphones.
8. What is their sleep schedule? Any alarm will wake both of you.
9. Do they have any medical conditions or allergies?
10. Discuss and agree cleaning rules. Recommend cleaning once a week together.
11. Talk about your definition of what “clean” is for common spaces. Everyone has assumptions about what being clean is but they’re hardly ever the same between two people. If you divide up chores for common spaces, agree on a time when you will have your chores done.
12. If you’re sharing a room, talk about when you like to turn out the lights and go to bed. Consider both getting a bedside LED lamp so that when one wants to sleep and the other wants to read in bed, you can turn off the main room lights.
13. Discuss boundaries for people coming over and staying the night – if you do not talk about that now (even if it is a sensitive issue), you may end up having to leave in the middle of the night. Agree on a policy to seek permission from each other when someone can stay the night the first time and after that, give a heads up every time. Even if you have someone over for an hour or two, I think it’s nice to get a text heads up.
    
    If you don’t talk about any of these things, you may have a falling out and even stop talk to each other, so stop being embarrassed and have these conversations. They can be super awkward but it may save relationships in the future.

Most of this should be obvious but here are more tips on how to not be an annoyance to your room-mate.

1. Don’t use loud gaming keyboards in a dorm room when others are in it. Trying to focus or sleep when someone’s typing on one of these is incredibly hard, Some keyboards are so loud they can be heard through ear plugs.
2. Make sure to bring a laptop so you can leave the room if needed. Your schedule will probably be different than your room-mate’s so you may need to leave the room to let them sleep and nap. Most dorms have a common area where you can sit and study.
3. Throw out your trash regularly and clean your dishes. Nobody wants to smell rotting food.
4. If you are having a snack like crisps, be polite and offer some to your room-mate. If you are from different cultures, this might be the first time they have tasted it. On the flip-side, don’t be greedy if you are offered something and finish the whole pack! If it’s something you are trying for the first time, be polite and don’t make faces if you don’t like it.
5. If you are going to hang damp clothes on a drying rack in the room, let your room-mate know in advance. You don’t want them to bring friends to the room and be surprised by your underwear decorating their room!
6. If you’re talking with headphones in or a headset on, leave an ear bud out or a side of your headset off so you can hear yourself. It’s easy to end up shouting otherwise.
7. Be mindful of your room-mate’s schedule. If they have early class they will probably go to bed earlier. If they need to sleep, be respectful and be quiet or do work outside the dorm room.
8. If you come to the dorm and your room-mate is sleeping, don’t make tons of noise. Don’t be the guy that decides to drag a drawer across the floor while your room-mate is napping.
9. Leave the room from time to time. You will meet people and have a better experience if you do. Don’t live in your dorm room, it’s annoying.
10. If you’re going to impose room rules, be willing to let some stuff slide. No one wants an uptight room-mate either.
11. Be sure to agree on a clothing policy with your room-mate. Don’t hang out half-undressed in the room.
12. If you use an alarm to get up- ensure you are not waking up your room-mate who doesn’t have to wake up till later. Don’t keep snoozing and setting off your alarm every 5mins. Consider using a vibrating alarm on your digital watch if you have it.
13. Talk to your room-mate about any issues or annoyances you have before you go the RA or Housing to complain.

In general, try to be courteous of others. Nobody wants to sleep in the TV lounge because their room-mate is playing Valorant at 1 am in the morning and raging.